Again, it’s all and always about the love

“I have not fallen in love with a body, but merely a soul, and that has made all the difference.” ~ Christopher Poindexter A favorite post, as true today, after so much time, as it was when I first wrote it. I didn’t buy tulips or champagne for Thanksgiving, but different flowers and some Coke….

Law of attraction: conundrums and a hack

“Beware of what you set your heart upon…for it shall surely be yours.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Beware is the key word. Because you will likely get what you think you want, only you might be overwhelmed by unexpected consequences. The greatest thing will show up and you won’t have a clue how to keep…

Action creates motivation: small steps to radical change

Change is hard. Really hard. It’s easy to tell ourselves or each other to just take a leap of faith. Leaping could land us in a lava pit. Or worse, a lava pit we know nothing about. Because unlike in school where we get the lesson before the test, we’ve all learned by now that…

A reminder: you are not a pretzel

What a relief! No really, it is, isn’t it? Very liberating. This realizing once and for all that you don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel to be loved and treated well. Some realize it early on. For others, it takes a bit of living to not only realize it intellectually, but also believe…

Love is not enough. Or is it…

Love is clearly not enough. We’ve lived this harsh truth, seen it around, and relationship gurus remind us of it all the time. The very idea of romance these days (or perhaps since forever) doesn’t seem to lead us to a space of hope, joy and enthusiasm for a happy life. Quite the opposite. It…

Old dogs can always learn new tricks – and should

A short story about a cat, not a dog. When we rescued Freddy, a beautiful grey cat who later turned out to be a Russian blue, he had been hanging around in the lobby of an apartment building for weeks. He would walk a few steps and then lie down. Apparently, to at least the…

It could be harder – a lesson in optimism

Whenever anyone offered the perspective that placed my challenges in a context of even more difficult circumstances and obstacles, I used to reply “yes, but it can also be much better!“. In my defense, I blame perfectionism and also, a sincere aversion to settling for something that can be enhanced by thoughtful effort, as opposed…

This too shall pass

I’ve had one of those days, caused by, well, nothing pleasant. So of course I decided to write. To sum up the day: s*#t happens. Which got me thinking that as much as we might believe that we can prevent and control whatever it is, that’s not how life works. You will be tested. And…

The map is not the territory

A cliché perhaps, but one worth repeating. Because there is, in fact, a way out. Out of those conundrums that cause inertia, depression, and anxiety. Out of confusion, guilt, fear and mistrust. Our of relentless self-criticism. Behind our issues are well-rehearsed, automatic thoughts. Patterns. A script the unconscious uses to keep us safe and stuck…

Who’s in charge?

Here I am complaining about this and that, hoping of course for an encouraging comment. And what do I hear? “You know those thoughts, decisions, feelings and reactions you think you’re in control of? Well, think again.” (laughter follows) And it’s true. Just do a search and you’ll get to read all about the 95/5…