The map is not the territory

A cliché perhaps, but one worth repeating. Because there is, in fact, a way out. Out of those conundrums that cause inertia, depression, and anxiety. Out of confusion, guilt, fear and mistrust. Our of relentless self-criticism. Behind our issues are well-rehearsed, automatic thoughts. Patterns. A script the unconscious uses to keep us safe and stuck…

Who’s in charge?

Here I am complaining about this and that, hoping of course for an encouraging comment. And what do I hear? “You know those thoughts, decisions, feelings and reactions you think you’re in control of? Well, think again.” (laughter follows) And it’s true. Just do a search and you’ll get to read all about the 95/5…

Get a bird on your shoulder: a better way to manage anxiety

Yup, a bird. An imaginary one, but still. Lately, I summoned one on my left shoulder. Of course we can’t see him. But he’s there. I chose a miniature shoebill stork, not the usual gray, but white. His feathers are always a mess. I fondly call him Birdie. And no, I’m not writing this from…

Nothing wrong with a sappy, happy outcome

I don’t need to tell you I’m a total softie. But I do arrive late to the party, which explains why I recently finished the last episode of Suits that everyone else saw three years ago. And now, because of Donna, I’m growing my hair even longer. Seriously though…given what’s happening in the news, the…

Will you remember who you are? (an almost poem)

“if you must turn hard to survive, don’t let it be against yourself.” e. wilder, balefire the song, not the scream.the gentle word. not the anguished. or the loud. or the terrifying. the soft and gentle hand, not the one that strikes. not the fist. will you remember who you really are, and take yourself…

Yes, because there’s nothing to lose

What is it they say… Something about how if the answer is yes and things work out, you win. And if the answer is no, and things don’t go well, you win again because you learned a lesson. They also say (and psychology proves it) that we will do more to avoid pain than to…

Not who you are

After three years of a pandemic that drained even the luckiest among us, another major conflict is unfolding. Because there wasn’t enough conflict and suffering in the world. Or poverty. Or enough refugees. It was late at night when I saw the first post on social media about troops having gone into the Ukraine. I…

Nobody should have the time to get old

“But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” ~ C.S. Lewis “Is THAT what you’re writing for Valentine’s Day?” the question came after my last post. I laughed. “Why?” “It’s so…so wise and…well, subdued.” Ahh. That. Subdued. As in, old. Well then, let’s rectify the situation. I am not…

Enough

I was asked if/when I will be posting something about love for Valentine’s day. It was a surprising question, and very sweet. But what more to write when there are hundreds of posts here already on the subject. In some form or another, always about love. For what is more important? But love is not…