What is really wanted is always possible


“We always find a way when we make finding a way the only choice.”

~ Joanna L.

When people realize they really want something, they tend to do whatever it takes to get it, make it happen, and then keep it. I know, because in order to get (and keep) computer privileges, my teenage son will go as far as cleaning up the yard after the dogs (I kid you not!). I also know because a thousand ships and more were launched because of the beauty of a certain woman. I know because kingdoms and fortunes and careers and reputations and everything else imaginable have been wagered and renounced, destroyed and rebuilt. And all because someone really wanted something, and no effort was too challenging, no price too high, no sacrifice too great.

When we look at why goals remain too far, why more suitable jobs seem out of reach, why partners don’t listen or make an effort, why relationships don’t move forward, and in general, why certain things in our lives don’t change or are not prioritized, we have a tendency to over-analyze circumstances, pathologize the heck out of the individuals involved, and overlook the simple (and brutal) fact that if it’s not happening, it’s not THAT important or wanted. We always find a way when we make finding a way the only choice.

I don’t want to appear insensitive to issues we all have because of negative experiences, difficult circumstances in our past or current challenges. But people do the most amazing things if they so choose, if they want to achieve a goal, if they realize how important it is. And I’m not saying that we all have to be heroes or celebrities. What I am saying is that we are all capable of A LOT…therefore, we must allow ourselves to focus on what truly matters, be inspired, appreciate what we’re missing if we don’t go after what we want, and stop making excuses.

Like for example…I say I really really want to exercise more but don’t have time…and yet in a week and a half, I’m finishing up season 2 of LOST on Netflix, I’ve got two new stoves in Café World, unlocked 2 new scenes in Hidden Chronicles, and my hunter bought another piece of great gear in World of Warcraft. But for jumping around in front of the TV with weights and doing sit-ups I have no time. Sure.

Just as someone might not consistently have time for household chores, homework, buying a long overdue engagement ring, gathering enough resources and resolving enough problems to start a life with a partner they love, or writing the book they’ve been dreaming about since forever. Because as we all know, Netflix, virtual stoves, combat gear, you-name-whatever distraction, loneliness, avoidance and ultimate failure are very important life investments…as opposed to improving one’s health, looking great, living a full, happy life, creating a fantastic marriage, and having a chance at publishing something that might even make it big.

Whatever excuses we make to ourselves and others, they’re just excuses. We don’t focus and actively pursue goals because we don’t want to, because we refuse to allow courage and commitment, because we’re allowing ourselves to be selfish, comfortable and complacent (ouch). The same circumstances, brains, bodies and budgets of cash or time are perfectly adequate when it comes to buying ourselves gadgets, paying for what we decide is more important, making time for those hobbies we choose, mustering up the energy to work every day and remain productive. Yet all of a sudden, when it comes to certain goals, our assets and flexibility disappear?

Bottom line…again…we don’t change or move forward or focus with consistency and effort not because there are no opportunities, because the timing isn’t right, the economy isn’t booming or we’ve been completely incapacitated by past experiences…it’s because we ultimately don’t want whatever it is bad enough. And why do we settle for settling? Because we forget what we’re missing. Because we’ve allowed ourselves the choice to settle, and then packaged it in a way so as to make it somehow acceptable.

I’ve said it a while back in another post, or maybe it was just a status on Facebook: it’s not enough to want something, we must also know why we want whatever it is…why it’s important. For this, we must allow some pain. And by allowing some pain I don’t mean that everyone should take up self-flagellation in the manner of certain Medieval monks or else drown in despair. What I’m saying is that instead of constantly avoiding discomfort and allowing ourselves to get used to living on a toxic diet of distractions and excuses, we need to really notice how it feels to be missing something important in our lives, visualize what our life story might be like if we don’t step up to the plate. Pain leads to gain; it creates a sense of urgency, stimulates our motivation, clears up our vision.

So, here’s to launching thousands of ships for the sake of making a dream come true. Ok, maybe just a dozen ships…but launch them we will!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kristy Lopez says:

    You are always sooo right on the money! But, what happens when we pursue the course to obtaining whatever it is that we want and then find out that it isn’t what we really want? What if we meet that goal, obtain that item or status, and then find out that we were much better off without it? Is it easy to go back? Probably not. Then again, what if it it’s better, more powerful, or whatever, than we originally thought? Will we want more?


  2. Joanna L. says:

    Thank you Kristy. And that’s a great question.

    The way I see it is…there is never a reason to go backwards…nor is it possible really. And if we went so far as to launch a thousand ships over something, it’s either something we really wanted or else it was done for other reasons…ambition, pride, you name it. Third option is that we end up being a bit disappointed with a result, because even the face that launches a thousand ships isn’t entirely wrinkle free.

    Now, even if we made a choice we wouldn’t make again, we’re still better off, because now we are in a better position to know what is important and why. If on the other hand we simply find some wrinkles at the end of the rainbow, well, time to remember that those are part of every deal…just because it doesn’t glitter quite as much as we initially imagined, it doesn’t mean it’s not gold.

    And in the fortunate circumstance where we discover that we under-estimated the value and potential of our goal, then WOW! Time to launch another thousand ships, and then some! with even more enthusiasm and courage. 🙂


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