I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.
– Dawna Markova
With so much heaviness and struggle at times, it’s not surprising we might forget for a while that our journey is ultimately and always about joy; that our purpose is not to shatter our spirits (or sanity!) with trials and humorless wisdom; it’s not to rise so that we may drag ourselves on a path groomed by somber righteousness; it’s not to lie crippled on a bed of nails so as to prove our endurance or enlightenment.
We journey to meet infinite tenderness…so we may fully open to love, connection and compassion for ourselves and another. We journey to rise so as to be able to dance better…longer…more beautifully. We journey into grace while hopefully gathering all our ghosts and shadows in one place, so that we may know them…and in the knowing, release them back into an insignificant darkness. We journey to surrender the thorns of uncertainty, fear and suffering that cling to our souls.
And yes, it may be that we must pass through many trials as we carry our pride, our wounds, and our unease to the altar. But even that final surrender, as it teaches the ultimate solitude and modesty, grants access to ultimate connection and abundance.
Life is not about suffering…it’s about learning how to celebrate and do so fully, mindfully, with a gentle, yet always fiery passion. Just as prayer is not about dwelling in a place of wanting, or about learning how to stiffen against misfortune or deprivation. And just as knowledge is not about certainty but about rediscovering our capacity to wonder and be grateful for the opportunity of mystery and magic.
While harsh and hard at times, our journey is an effort towards joy and a release into joy.