Such a terrible thing happened in Boston today. I sit this night staring at the computer screen feeling so small, helpless and afraid. Like you, I am so sorry for those who died and those who are hurt…for their loved ones. Like you, I struggle with heavy thoughts.
And, beyond the events of the day, my thoughts gather around other traumatic moments in life. In the life of the world. In my life.
I hurry to scan them all carefully…order them into categories: the logical and the senseless…the ones that led to something positive, the ones that simply caused pain and destroyed something precious. I feel the need to stand back and look at a clean place, with things in order. I must not overlook any detail…it must all make sense.
But it doesn’t all make sense. Today in Boston doesn’t make sense. And there are so many other events and places in the world…in our own lives that make no sense. How can it ever make sense that something be destroyed when there is another option?
Yesterday, I wrote about loss and that precious choice we all have regardless of what happens around us or to us… in tragic and happy moments alike…always between love and fear. Fear is not an option, but it feels strange to speak of love on this day, at this late hour, with the images I saw, and those I didn’t see and will never see but still imagine.
Who wants to hear about love when there is blood in the streets, when lives are broken?
But then I think when we are most shaken and most uncertain, what is the one thing we need and reach for and want to bring closer? When everything else fails, what is the one thing we still trust?
It’s love. Always love. Not distance, but closeness. We need the heart, the whisper, the hand, the arms, the touch. Because in the darkest, deepest sadness, the path seeks to lead us to love. Just as in the deepest, most hopeless silence, it seeks to lead us to light.
Suddenly I want to hold everyone closer. Really close. Everyone who matters so.
The world is such a big place and forever is such a long time when at any moment, everything can change. And so my prayer this night goes to those who on this day, did not have a choice of direction. And it also goes to those who have a choice left.
Of a great need
We are all holding hands
Not loving is a letting go.
The terrain around here
That.” ~ Hafiz