Selfishness is not self-love


boy playing violin

“Suppose you were the last one left? Suppose you did that to yourself?” ~ Cormac McCarthy, The Road

We often, and mistakenly assume, that selfishness is self-love in the extreme. It is not. In fact, it is the most extreme form of self-hatred. In selfishness we punish and steal from ourselves. Because all that we do not give is all that we are incapable of receiving.

Self-love means wanting to be generous to ourselves, to allow happiness and freedom in our lives. And we can only do that by being open, by receiving. And we can only receive when we give…only receive what we give. Just as we can only be free when we commit to nurturing the context where our happiness can blossom, and those who are part of it.

Truly loving someone, or giving, are not signs of weakness or dependency. This is the only proof we have of self-love and self-confidence: not fearing that by loving and giving we might lose something or even ourselves…that we might be changed and made poorer against our will, that we might become less than who we are alone.

Truly loving someone and being able to give, being willing to give, to share, to notice…means we have mastered self-love. It means we truly understand that the only “risk” involved is our gaining the ability to embrace and own the gifts of wellness, happiness, and freedom.

Selfishness does not protect us from risk…or pain for that matter. It simply kills everything. And as within, so without. We are silent and empty inside, in a cage, surrounded by a silent, empty world.

And that is not how we are meant to be…how the world is meant to be.

Here is the video I wanted to share:

One Comment Add yours

  1. philip469 says:

    love the blog


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