“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
To do this, we must dream freely, imagine freely, focus freely, act freely. And by freely, I mean free of limiting beliefs about what we deserve, are capable of, what we truly value and what is possible.
Unfortunately, we learn early on, and keep learning how not to create the reality we want if it does not match or confirm beliefs based on a long list of limitations imposed by our own negative experiences, by well-meaning advice and examples from those around us, by society in general.
This is how unhappiness and stagnation are born and nurtured. This is how we don’t get what we want and need.
Imagine you’re unhappy with the house you own. Eventually, despite convenience and familiarity, you decide you want a house you will actually enjoy living in, and start looking for one. You have a sincere intention of changing your life in a positive way.
And so, as it always happens when intentions get focused in a positive and authentic direction, unexpected opportunities come up. You stumble upon a house that’s not perfect (nothing ever is) but it’s as close to your dream house as they get. It fits you beautifully.
As a bonus, you can rent it for the summer, and get to experience how living in this place is everything you imagined it would be and more. You’ve never been happier. You feel so lucky you found this place (and so quickly), and naturally you’re set on buying it and moving in as soon as possible.
To purchase the house and move in however, involves a lot of work AND dealing with change. Yes, you’re about to change your life for the better, but it’s still change, you’re still entering unknown territory to which you must adjust.
On top of that, you have to take care of things like getting an extra loan, fill out paperwork, examine your finances, pack your stuff, plan out your move, get the house ready. A lot has to happen before the keys are in your hand.
And this is when your true beliefs kick in to either make or break your dream.
Regardless of how much you want the house, how right it feels or how beautifully it fits you, if behind the scenes your actions are driven by limiting beliefs, you will not buy or move into it. And it will seem that things didn’t work out because it was not meant to be, because you didn’t have the necessary resources, because circumstances were not right.
You will not notice how you sabotaged your own intention towards positive change. You will think you tried your best…but, every action that required attention or effort will have registered in your mind as a setback. You will start feeling more and more stressed and uncomfortable, do less and less towards your goal, and interpret that as a sign of wrongness instead of excitement and discomfort in anticipation of positive change.
One by one, negative associations will awaken deeply held beliefs you’ve cemented over the years, and contribute to creating more proof to support those beliefs. Your thoughts will seem very rational and “realistic” because they are in fact backed by experience and the proof you’ve created. It’s the perfect vicious cycle.
Because reality IS what we believe it is. That doesn’t mean that if we think a rock is a bird then the rock becomes a bird. But the purpose and value we assign to everything (including a rock) along with the beliefs that support them are what will put one rock in the driveway and another in a store window next to a hefty price tag.
We rely on our beliefs to direct our actions/choices, which in turn create and reinforce our reality. When we seek to create change in our lives, we start out with positive and genuine intentions. But if behind the scenes we act according to limiting beliefs, we end up very successfully re-creating the exact reality we’re trying to change…AND reinforcing the reasons why change is not (or was not) possible.
How often have all of us sat there absolutely exasperated because our intentions point us in a certain direction we are convinced we’re working towards, yet the results we create end up the exact opposite? And because it all needs to make sense, we assign responsibility not to our actions, but to circumstances. If we were actually creating what we don’t want, we’d be insane, would we not?
But it’s not that our minds are not functioning properly or circumstances are against us. It’s simply that behind the curtain, what controls the show is a set of limiting beliefs and resistance to change. Although on the surface, we don’t actually believe any of that stuff, it is those fears, those limitations, THAT script, that drives our every move, choice and conclusion.
Our power to manifest is the same regardless of outcome. We can manifest our dreams just as successfully as we can destroy them. And since we all want lives of abundance and happiness, we have to make sure to align our dreams and goals with empowering beliefs, otherwise, we will keep creating the opposite of what we want.
So next time something is not what you want it to be, take out a pen and paper and write down what positive actions you’ve actually taken towards you goal. And then, allow yourself to also write down what you think you deserve, what you’re capable of, what is possible, why your goal is attainable and why it isn’t. Allow yourself to write down all the beliefs that come to mind when you stop censoring discomfort. You will immediately recognize what’s going on and be able to determine whether your actions align with your intentions or not.