The right picture. The perfect picture really, the only one that truly worked for a very important project.
I had found it and knew it as I know my name. But I didn’t know to handle it in Photoshop so as to be able to use it. No matter what I tried it just wasn’t working.
So I abandoned it. As right as it was, it was useless to me in that moment. The replacement I ended up using was pretty good. But nothing like that right picture. And it wasn’t until much later that I had the experience to fully understand why the first one was truly the perfect picture, and the skill to use it properly.
It is the same with love, with life.
We’ve heard it a million times…that the worst thing ever is to meet the right person at the wrong time.
And then of course, we’ve heard the argument that the right person only appears at the right time. If it’s the wrong time, it’s the wrong person, end of story.
We all know timing makes all the difference. Because timing involves seeing, understanding, experience and skill.
Seriously. Even if two hearts find each other in this beautiful mess of a world, sometimes they can not do what such hearts are meant to do.
Not the first time. Or the second.
It might take a while.
Many exquisite foods and drinks take a while to cure. So it is with us and our circumstances. We have to be ready.
Finding the right person at the wrong time is simply the universe giving us a first clue: Here, this is where you need to be, who you need to be with.
Our paths and lessons are similar but also different. We get stuck when we are clueless just as easily as when we are not, yet our priorities are all out-of-order. Some of us need (or prefer) to take ‘scenic route’ while learning what we must before we can hear the heart speak, just as it spoke when the time was wrong: “It couldn’t have ever been anyone else. It was always this person. Everyone else was either a very disappointing or a convenient, advantageous (and possibly quite pleasant) almost.”
But how do we know…really know it’s the right person?
For one thing, the right person never really goes away. Their presence at the periphery of our lives or minds makes no sense. We forget about them, we are surprised and confused when they re-appear, when we are reminded of them in the most unexpected of circumstances.
And of course, this someone is very different from all the others. It isn’t someone we need to complete us, someone who will conveniently deliver us from a bind or fix our problems. It’s about who they are and who we are…who we can become when they are next to us.
This person is enough exactly as they are. Their light is enough. Their darkness is a necessary mystery. What we see they see in us is enough. The miracle of simply being together is enough. We need them for reasons we can’t fully explain, and love them in ways that words can’t measure up to.
But wait, if we had even a hint, from that first timing that was off, then why don’t we always drop everything and find a way to this person no matter what else is going on? What else could be more important?
Sometimes we get it right away, because the timing is wrong but not that wrong. Sometimes it takes years of doing all the wrong and ‘almost right’ things before we can embrace the right thing without destroying it. Because destroy it we will if we’re not ready, even if we may be willing.
Trust me, you can ruin a perfect picture in Photoshop.
So then, un-timings are quite the blessings in disguise really. For hearts that found each other once and are truly right for each other, the time always comes.
And here’s a piece in the New York times with a story to prove it. It will make you smile.