Sadness is not beautiful

sadness

“Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.”
― Osho, Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now

it is real. and we need it. for our awakening and our growth.

but it is not beautiful.

at times, the poetry of it helps. through a soulful aesthetic, we may find a way to redeem our pain, our mistakes, and our losses from the clutches of the incomprehensible and the senseless.

but sadness is not beautiful. pain is not beautiful. loss is not beautiful.

to be smashed against the sharpest rocks by waves we can not brace up against or count…to be pulverized, blood and soul, and watch the dust of our being scattered in the wind..is not beautiful.

it’s terrifying.

yes, if we could watch it all from an objective safety, riding the privilege of enlightened spirits no longer bound to this mortal coil, then perhaps it would seem to us a superb show.

but as mere humans, we feel…we rise so far above any poetic abstraction.

we break and then shatter in sorrow;  struggle for a breath as we pray for forgiveness, for a miracle…or simply, a small reprieve. for release.

often, we cling to sadness in a desperate embrace, glad to let it tear to pieces whatever is left of us after having been torn to pieces.

we embrace it and we endure, because it keeps that which we love close to us a little longer…

…in dreams and in all the spaces between our waking moments, on every shelf, around every corner,  at every meal…on chairs, on our pillow, at the edges of every sunrise and sunset, in every smile and every tear, in mirrors, in songs, in all the little things we touch and those we dare not touch…

sadness has to run its course. it has no universal timeline.

sometimes we hold it longer out of love. and fear. and defiance. and a need for which many would make us feel ashamed and weak.

but it is not a shameful need, or a weakness to buy time and adjust to the inevitable. to allow the idea that we will go on, beyond the pain, mistakes or losses, and be happy again one day.

sadness teaches us urgency. why it is necessary to open, to love deeply and honestly, to invest despite all odds in beautiful, good things. why indifference is not an option.

sadness teaches us value. the value of time. of love. of connection. of opportunities.

still, sadness is not beautiful.

what comes before it, and what comes after it, are.

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