You can’t change if you don’t change

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

It’s funny how every counselor, psychic and life coach out there offers the same message:

If you create balance and free yourself from negative thoughts, bad habits and toxic patterns, happiness awaits!”

Surely not! Really? You mean if we are healthy and happy we’ll be healthy and happy? That kind of insight is worth a subscription fee!

Joke aside, there is something here worth looking at.

Progress, healing…anything positive, involves change.

But change is tricky.

Our efforts, even the most sincere, usually come from a mindset used to a pattern. And while it’s the pattern that needs to change, we don’t recognize we’re in it because it’s so familiar and a part of us.

Yes, we don’t see the forest for the trees.

While trying to fix something, we basically follow the same unhelpful pattern, but with a different set of tools.

It’s like trying to fix a broken leg by wearing different socks.

That’s not to say better tools aren’t useful.

Yet what needs to change is the approach, the method. And this means breaking the pattern, forcing a shift.

It may sound like a bad joke, but to change something you do need to actually change.

Pride has to go. Stubbornness has to go. And replaced by the willingness to feel like a total fool, to face guilt and shame and step through fear.

I know…it’s can be so unpleasant, uncomfortable, initially destabilizing, scary, humiliating. It really sucks as first.

Yet it’s infinitely better than what essentially comes down to staying stuck in that endless loop of unconscious self-sabotage.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Really love your writing style! And you make so much sense. Change is hard indeed, perhaps even taking action is scary, but it really is up to us to make the choice every day if we’re going to do it or not. Anyway, thanks for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jb says:

      Thank you so much. Was looking at your site, love your writing style as well!


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