The right kind of tiredness


There are two things we should always be: 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am raw and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.

C. JoyBell C.

It’s like the simple quietness of a Sunday afternoon. Like the soft light.

It’s not happy, it’s not sad. It just is. This tiredness.

A knowing.

There shall be no more doing things that are expected of you but do not fit. Or not doing things that fit but gather disapproval.

No more letting anyone else choose your script.

No more arguing under the furious direction of that stubborn ego. Or at least recognizing the urge to argue for what it is, and not insisting.

No more forcing the good into an inherited mold of perfection.

No more avoidance of feeling. Or twisting clarity into a dark, false knot.

Peace can only be a choice to flow, to allow. It can only be gentle. Forgiving. Honest.

This tiredness, deep in your bones and in your soul, and in every bit of you…

…is, at first, not the right kind. Because it settles and consumes.

But the right kind of tiredness comes after. And it does come.

It whispers: no more dishonesty, no more debt.

It is like a deep breath. A restful breath.

Yes, you are tired.

But instead of sinking, now you can rest.

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