It fell on me to be the different one. Both the golden child and the black sheep. A contradiction that can be partially dealt with. The accommodating nurturer and impertinent disruptor. The one who seeks peace and yet argues everything. The peaceful one. The storm.
If you study a bit about generational issues, toxic patterns and family traumas, you know what this is. You know about the disruptors who are just troublemakers for their own sake, and about the healers who fight.
You also know that it doesn’t matter if you have children or not. Your role is to draw a line in the sand and take a different path. Stand against the odds within yourself. And as you heal you, you heal everyone retroactively, whether these people are still around or not.
You will feel it very strongly if you’re the “chosen one” whose role is to be that rebel who ends the curse. Your energy, in your life, will make all the difference. Your life first, the most important. And then the other lives – any you interact with.
It’s a burden to be sure. Often a very lonely path. Confusing and difficult. At least until you realize how much power you actually have. And that nobody is coming to the rescue. Nobody will just magically change and heal. Only you. You raise your energy. You do the work. Despite everything.
So that you will no longer be the victim of the self-sabotage that grew like a vine inside you, and suffocates all that you try to grow in good faith. So that you no longer run from yourself and from love, chasing shadows that are not your own, while your tribe applauds your limitations because they are similar to their own.
You grab your pain and your terrible habits and you use them to smash through all the conditioning, all those toxic boundaries often given to you with love.
That part hurts the most. The disentangling from energetic ties, the understanding that love doesn’t erase toxicity, and toxicity doesn’t erase love.
Some people back down from the challenge they discover in themselves and their role. It’s easier. It feels safer. The potential for pain is subdued.
You know of course that I will argue against giving up. Because giving up is a betrayal. And betrayal is an endless death.
We can only be who we are, if we are to be. And once you know this, there will be no other choice than to walk the path to freedom and to peace.
For anyone in doubt, just be the black sheep. It is a privilege. And you are a blessing.
You are indeed the dream of all your ancestors.
“The So-called ‘Black Sheep’ of the family are, in fact, seekers of liberation roads for the family tree. Those members of the tree who do not adapt to the rules or traditions of the family system, those who were constantly seeking to revolutionize beliefs, going in contrast to roads marked by family traditions, those criticized, tried and even rejected, those, by general.
They are called to release the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations. The ‘Black Sheep’, those who do not adapt, those who scream rebel, repair, detoxify and create a new and blooming branch… countless unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled dreams, frustrated talents of our ancestors manifest themselves in their rebellion looking to take place.
The family tree, by inertia, will want to continue to maintain the castrating and toxic course of its trunk, which makes its task difficult and conflicting… that no one makes you doubt, take care of your ‘rarity’ as the most precious flower of Your Tree.
You are the dream of all your ancestors.”
~ Bert Hellinger
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