“What you resist persists”.
~ C. G. Jung
A sample would be nice. You know, to teach us healthy habits and give some encouragement. But the universe isn’t always that good at marketing strategies. Which makes you wonder…but that’s another story.
The idea is that if we could somehow get a taste of what it’s like to have the issues that torment us resolved, we’d be so much more inclined to stop standing in the way of our own healing.
Which of course means doing things that seem impossibly awkward, risky and even unpleasant. Which of course are things we tend to avoid, because they are impossibly awkward, risky and let’s face it, usually unpleasant.
But what is this resistance exactly?
It’s ignoring the obvious. That inner knowing and voice that fight with so-called “reason” and self defeating patterns. With the opinions of others. With habits and rules that never fit, or we’ve simply outgrown.
Like when you know that job or profession is a bad fit. But it pays the bills. And it’s not all bad. But it’s so not right. And yet you stay.
Like when you stick to a place or living situation that is toxic. But it’s safe and convenient too. Things could be worse. But it’s so not right. And yet you stay.
Like when you deny your true feelings because you’re ashamed, afraid and cling to some script of how things should be. You’re “safe” and on paper, “reasonable”. But it’s so not right. And yet you keep doing it.
Like when you stick with people and situations that do more harm than good. Or don’t really have much to offer. But what of obligations. And better the devil you know. But it’s stifling and wrong. And yet you keep on staying.
Like when you don’t do something you want and need to do, because it’s too hard, or risky, or unconventional, and it will never work anyway. But you don’t know if you don’t try. But what will everyone say. And you do nothing.
On and on it all goes.
We know in our heart of hearts what is right, what is healthy, what we want. We know the “what” but we often don’t know the “how”. Or else we have an idea of the “how” that is so shackled by prejudices, fears, bad habits, self-doubt, and shame, that we imagine resisting will somehow make the inner conflicts go away. And keep the peace with whatever or whoever is around us.
What is ignored or buried never goes away. It all resurfaces in other ways, again and again. We end up with the same job in every new job. With the same kind of partner in every new partner. With the same frustration and stagnation in every new context.
And on top of that, resistance creates tension in the body. Which builds and builds. Everything gets out of whack. Enter overeating, sleep deprivation, insulin resistance, bad cholesterol, migraines, anxiety, depression, stomach issues, back pain, and many more such common joys. The body will manifest resistance, and while we can address symptoms, unless and until we deal with the cause, healing remains elusive.
So yes, resistance is futile. No matter what we do, it catches up with us.
And eventually, we still have to deal with it. Do the right things hopefully, and liberate ourselves.
As much as cynics will insist people don’t change, I will insist that we aren’t meant to be one thing for life. That we can all create healthier, happier, more sophisticated versions of ourselves.
And while resistance is futile, it’s also important to mention resistance is not a permanent condition. It can be overcome.
Get to it.
“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”
~ José Micard Teixeira
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