What is around you matters

Granted there are dogs living in Chernobyl. And we admire Viktor Frankl’s message about dealing with unavoidable suffering, along with all the other messages out there about courage and personal choice in the face of adversity. We also understand that our ‘inner world’ needs to be balanced and well managed for us to function adequately,…

Law of attraction: conundrums and a hack

“Beware of what you set your heart upon…for it shall surely be yours.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Beware is the key word. Because you will likely get what you think you want, only you might be overwhelmed by unexpected consequences. The greatest thing will show up and you won’t have a clue how to keep…

Action creates motivation: small steps to radical change

Change is hard. Really hard. It’s easy to tell ourselves or each other to just take a leap of faith. Leaping could land us in a lava pit. Or worse, a pit we know nothing about. Because unlike in school where we get the lesson before the test, we’ve all learned by now that life…

A reminder: you are not a pretzel

What a relief! No really, it is, isn’t it? Very liberating. This realizing once and for all that you don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel to be loved and treated well. Some realize it early on. For others, it takes a bit of living to not only realize it intellectually, but also believe…

Love is not enough

Love is clearly not enough. We’ve lived this harsh truth, seen it around, and relationship gurus remind us of it all the time. The very idea of romance these days (or perhaps since forever) doesn’t seem to lead us to a space of hope, joy and enthusiasm for a happy life. Quite the opposite. It…

Old dogs can always learn new tricks – and should

A short story about a cat, not a dog. When we rescued Freddy, a beautiful grey cat who later turned out to be a Russian blue, he had been hanging around in the lobby of an apartment building for weeks. He would walk a few steps and then lie down. Apparently, to at least the…

It could be harder – a lesson in optimism

Whenever anyone offered the perspective that placed my challenges in a context of even more difficult circumstances and obstacles, I used to reply “yes, but it can also be much better!“. In my defense, I blame perfectionism and also, a sincere aversion to settling for something that can be enhanced by thoughtful effort, as opposed…

Get a bird on your shoulder: a better way to manage anxiety

Yup, a bird. An imaginary one, but still. Lately, I summoned one on my left shoulder. Of course we can’t see him. But he’s there. I chose a miniature shoebill stork, not the usual gray, but white. His feathers are always a mess. I fondly call him Birdie. And no, I’m not writing this from…

Yes, because there’s nothing to lose

What is it they say… Something about how if the answer is yes and things work out, you win. And if the answer is no, and things don’t go well, you win again because you learned a lesson. They also say (and psychology proves it) that we will do more to avoid pain than to…

The difficult freedom of healing

Years ago I read the memoir of an atheist writer I admired who, when facing a serious illness, humbly called on God for help. His experience left quite an impression. I no longer have that book to offer a quote. But the wordless memory of that experience became relevant this year. Many things come to…