“if you must turn hard to survive, don’t let it be against yourself.” e. wilder, balefire the song, not the scream.the gentle word. not the anguished. or the loud. or the terrifying. the soft and gentle hand, not the one that strikes. not the fist. will you remember who you really are, and take yourself…
Yes, because there’s nothing to lose
What is it they say… Something about how if the answer is yes and things work out, you win. And if the answer is no, and things don’t go well, you win again because you learned a lesson. They also say (and psychology proves it) that we will do more to avoid pain than to…
Not who you are
After three years of a pandemic that drained even the luckiest among us, another major conflict is unfolding. Because there wasn’t enough conflict and suffering in the world. Or poverty. Or enough refugees. It was late at night when I saw the first post on social media about troops having gone into the Ukraine. I…
Enough
I was asked if/when I will be posting something about love for Valentine’s day. It was a surprising question, and very sweet. But what more to write when there are hundreds of posts here already on the subject. In some form or another, always about love. For what is more important? But love is not…
The difficult freedom of healing
Years ago I read the memoir of an atheist writer I admired who, when facing a serious illness, humbly called on God for help. His experience left quite an impression. I no longer have that book to offer a quote. But the wordless memory of that experience became relevant this year. Many things come to…
On healing the wounded child
Surely you too have noticed that we react not only to what we’re actually witnessing in the moment or some situation/issue in general – but also, to whatever we are facing reminds us of. Every time we ask “what if”, we’re resurrecting experiences or scenarios we ourselves lived through, heard or learned about. A great…
Understanding that one fear
Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has…
About that advice: toxic influences and borrowed anxieties
This is a tough one, and for that reason, it’s been sitting unfinished in my drafts for a few years. Because how do you lovingly talk about those you appreciate or even love while also pointing to the all too frequent wrongness of seeking and receiving their influence via advice, opinion or assistance? And then…
one.
there are many kinds of grief. i know the one that silences, the one that shatters. the confusing one. and the one that settles like a fog of sharp edges – yet bearable. perhaps i know others i can not recall in this moment. but this, today, was unexpected. it struck with such depth and…
The poison of extreme independence
Sadly, it’s something we see too often: that person who is unreachable, who needs no one, who seeks total control, no matter how excruciating it is to keep up the act. That extremely independent and totally self sufficient human who lives a performance instead of an imperfectly blossoming life. And no, it’s not healthy. And…
silencetolight 